Untitled
by Trisana Tenebrae
Summary: Hitomi is depressed. She loved Van and then had to leave him. But what if she got another chance to fix her mistake? VXH
1. Chapter 1

Title: Untitled

Warning: This is a sad and depressing fic, atleast in the beginning... just to warn ya!

Disclaimer: i own nothing!

As I looked around my apartment, which was covered in boxes and such, I realized that I didn't want to unpack. I just wanted to go to sleep. Depression ate at my mind like a disease and I just sat curled up in a corner of the couch in my front room not wanting to have to deal with anything but the feeling that ached in my chest. I know that I really should get over it and become the bright bubbly girl everyone knows but every time I try, all I can think is, 'This act isn't good enough for anyone.'

Across the room, I heard the phone ring loudly, its piercing cry constant in my ears, there were times when I thought not having a phone might be better then having one but my mother was known for making a call every day to check up on me so I kept it even though the very sound of it made my head ache. I know I should answer it but I am tired and I don't care who is it. After what seemed like the eighth ring, my answering machine picked up and my voice came out of it saying, "Leave a message after the beep." I know its not very inventive but it worked. When the annoying chime went off to show that it was time to leave a message I then heard Yukari's voice, which had a tone of worry but also of exasperation. Throughout the entire time I had known her she often had that tone, but it seemed to be a constant thing since my "incident". That's what they all called it. My "incident" like I had a accident or something. They never really understood that I had gone to another world and found that I was not alone.

"Hitomi I know you are there... Pick up..." She waited for a minute then sighed audibly, "Or don't. Amano wanted me to ask you if you would come to dinner tomorrow night. We still love you Tomi-chan..." Her voice trailed off then I heard a faint click of her hanging up. I knew she didn't know what to say. We hadn't really talked much since my "incident" three years ago. Funny how I would say that going to Gaea made me a better person but when you come home and tell your best friend what happened to try and see if it was real, they tell your mother and you are put in the Psych ward. I spent the first two years in the psych ward since my mother wanted me there, saying I was a danger to my self and others. HA. The nurses all became my friend and since I never showed any sign of being crazy they let me get away with things. As my mind went on that train of thought I curled up tighter in a ball a migraine beginning in the back of my eyes. Soon it got to the point I was crying because it hurt so badly. So I got up, switched the light out and then walked to my bedroom. The bed was the only thing I got made up before I grew tired and lethargic.

I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes willing the migraine to explode my head so I could wait in heaven for my one true love. When I was in high school I thought Amano was the love of my life, but after spending time in Gaea I realized it was all just a dream. A dream that quickly died.

My thoughts often went back the dark haired boy who even when he was cold to me, knew he cared about me. Like I was special. The day I left him there next to Escaflowne, I knew I would regret it. But I am not queen material. So pray that he finds love and makes lots of babies while I stay on the "mystic Moon" and mourn the loss of the one man who understood me. The clock on my night stand screamed at me in bright red numbers that it was only five o'clock, but I laid in my bed, hidden under the covers, praying that when I woke up I would be gone from this place and have the wings I craved. Sleep came slowly and I felt it dull my mind in stages. I let it move over me slowly and felt the migraine, which had been threatening to bust my brain open, also begin to recede like the tide as if threatening to come back with vengeance when I woke up. I hadn't had migraines before my "incident" but when I got home I began to get them on a regular basis. I still finished High school at the top of my class but Yukari had begun to call less and my track time had slowed to a crawl. After high school I had stopped running and I could feel that my body had realized that. But I ignored it and fell into a dreamless sleep. 

Well thats the ending of the first chapter. I know its short but its early in the morning and i am tired. So please review and tell me what you think even if its to tell me that it sucks... Well that would suck anyway...


	2. Chapter 2

Hello again! Sorry it took me so long to repond to all of your reviews i have been busy with approuching college. Thank you so much. I would love to say that this is the most reviews i have ever had a on a single story. Thank you all so much and here is the next chapter in my wonderful saga.

once again here is the disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, i no own so you no sue!

Chapter 2

Visions of Dream's Past

When I woke up, one of the first things I noticed was that there was no bright light shining through my windows. All I saw was just the inky darkness that seemed to want to close around me and smother my very breath. I sat up and glanced at the clock, its glaring numbers telling me that I had slept for two hours. I laid my head against my pillows, closing my eyes against the screaming red number that kept telling me that yet again I would not be sleeping tonight. I laid in my bed thinking about the many pills I had been forced to take to help cure all my problems after my "incident" and how non of them worked, the darkness of my eyelids making me feel like maybe I could open them and see Van. But when I opened them I only saw my ceiling and got out of bed mumbling loudly, "Lovely… just lovely…" I climbed out of bed in a jumbling mess, the very darkness seeming to move out of my way. The time when I did anything gracefully had long since faded leaving an empty shell.

I got as far as the living room before I felt like my throat was closing off. I faintly felt my knees hitting the ground before the vision took me over. The first thing I saw was my pendent that I had given to Van. It filled my vision, and then began to swing, slowly at first then faster and faster. My attention was all on the pendent but then soon a voice also came to this vision, "Hitomi…. Hitomi Kanzaki… I should have told you before you left… I should have asked you to stay and be my queen… Then maybe you wouldn't have left me…" The voice sounded upset and I reached out feeling the vision start to open at my finger tips. As I came out of one part of the vision I was dropped into another part. I looked around absently and then I saw Van, He sat in a window seat, the surrounding room screaming wealth. I stepped closer to him and then I heard him speak again, "Hitomi… I miss your smile, and I miss your advice…" He was just about to open his mouth when a woman's voice pierced the air making him look up for a minute then quickly put the pendent back in his shirt and then look towards the door his face guarded like he was about to go into battle.

"Van-san?" I looked around angrily feeling like a fire and erupted in my belly making my entire body burn with it. The woman entered the room and I gasped softly. She was tall and lithe, but moved slowly as if weighted with some great… well weight. Then I noticed her belly. It was swollen and a little voice came into my mind making the fires douse immediately. That was Van's wife. Van's very pregnant wife. My Van's very pregnant wife… Well I guess he wasn't my Van any more now was he? I watched her walk around the room and felt faintly upset over the way she looked. She had long blond hair that ended just before her shoulders, its flawless waves making my short blond hair look like a rat's nest. The hair framed a flawless face, pale as milk with bright blue eyes that twinkled and sparked with a life I knew I would never have again. This was defiantly a girl in love or at least infatuation. Her entire face became a smile when Van turned to look at her seeming not to notice the guarded expression.

"Yes Toma-san?" Van asked his voice even, I knew that voice, he was trying not to show any extreme in emotion. He used to use it a lot on me when he was trying not to laugh too hard when I fell on my butt… or in extreme annoyance at Merle for being so over protective. I watched his face, memorizing every curve and wanting to run over and make him smile just to run that tired and sad look from his eyes. He had always meant the world to me and to see him this upset and his wife not seeming to notice made the boiling heat of rage build up in my belly again. Usually I am really good about keep my temper down and not loosing it but this twit almost made me think that maybe I didn't have good as control as I thought.

"Merle said you were not to be disturbed but I wanted to ask you that if this baby is born a girl-child. May I name her?" Her voice was soft and light yet it didn't seem to make Van smile it only seemed to make him hurt more. I took a step closer but then I saw Merle walk in. She looked much older and stared at the two people, the disgust in her eyes growing from disgust to hate. I couldn't help but smile, knowing we once again had a common enemy. Then I was forced to think about Toma's words.

"Merle said you should leave him alone and you still bothered him anyway. That explains why Merle thinks you are lower then dirt…" I mumbled to myself feeling rightfully angry.

"It up to you Toma-san. But you must know that if the people do not take to the child then you will be sent back to Austuria without hesitation. I will not have my people rebelling because I want the child of an ally to succeed me and they do not agree." His voice was firm and final and I went over to stand by Merle. She still wore the tan dress she always had but she had grown into quite the lady, her gainliness when I had known her had grown out to a very shapely woman. Merle now stood about three inches taller then me and even though she still had all the stripes they had grown into long and elegant stripes. Her eyes were intent on Toma's face so I looked back just in time to see her hide the look of shock on her face and regain her look of youthful happiness. I felt my dislike for her grow, but I watched her still stare at Van. Before long I looked from Toma's mask to Van's face seeing a look of quiet satisfaction hidden there. His eyes held that quiet smile that he never let overflow onto his face.

"Van-san… I understand that but… You also swore you would protect me and that this child would cement our marriage." Toma stood as she spoke, her light gown flowing around her lithe body as her face carefully formed in a look of ladylike anger.

"Yes but my people come before all, before me and before you or even our children. My parents were like that before me and my children will be like that after me." His voice firm and rather upset. I smiled knowing that I understood that and that was why I refused to stay. I would not have Van so worried about taking care of me that his time with his people would be cut back.

"Van-san… Why is it you sit in this room? I heard that it was the same room as the girl from the Mystic Moon… Do you seem to love her more then you love me? Would you protect her even if they people did not like the offspring she gave to you?" Obviously Toma knew she was grasping at straws and just being truly low, but she kept on. I sat and watched Van's face seeing the sadness slowly seep into his eyes as if it took everything he had not to cry. "What was her name, Van-san? Hitomi? I think you called me that a few times… do I look that much like her?" Her voice was nearly a scream and Merle took a few steps closer as if to restrain her.

"Please leave me Toma before you say something you regret and I am forced to send you back to Austuria in shame because you can't keep your mouth shut." He said as she rushed out in tears.

"Van-sama…" Merle whispered as if afraid of bothering him, her feet moving her single step closer. Van looked over when she called his name and smiled slightly, that one smile that seemed reserved for only her, and motioned her to come over and sit down. Merle then ran over on all fours and perched her self right next to his feet, calmly cleaning her paws and smiling like some kitten that ate the canary. Unknown to me, I began to giggle, though I don't think I realized it was me until I couldn't breath because I was laughing so hard. She acted so much like she did when I first met her and even though it pained me to see them I realized that besides just missing Van I missed Merle almost as much. She had become like a sister and I missed her antics. Van smiled at her and laid his head back on the window like before pulling my pendent from his shirt. "Van-sama... Why do you come to Hitomi's room? It won't help you avoid Toma-san." Her voice was soft yet playfully reprimanding.

He closed his eyes for a moment and that was exactly when I felt my vision beginning to break apart. "NO! VAN!" I screamed at the top of my lungs hoping they could hear me, but then I felt the vision disappear and I was back on the hard wood floor of my apartment among all the clutter of my life.

The cold wood unnerved me slightly only because it crept through the t-shirt I had worn while sleeping and settled over my skin making it chilly. I laid there for a moment before standing up and looking around my apartment. Nothing was there yet I felt a faint trace of perfume that floated on the air. I recognized the perfume so I followed it until I got to my front door. I looked through the peak hole and saw the faces of Yukari and Amano. Shoot. And I thought I would just avoid them for as long as I can. And most you can tell… I don't _ever _answer my phone so I never have to talk to anyone. Funny huh? I thought so. Well I watched them through the peep hole and smiled since Amano obviously wanted to leave, saying something along the lines of "she's not home" or "she obviously doesn't want to speak to us." What can I say, I read lips. But Yukari had that look on her face that just screamed, "Fight with me and I will make sure you never leave that hole you came out of." So Amano just shut down and let Yukari win. Knew he would. Wussy… Anyway there I am in a pair of running shirts and a tank top and they are at my door. What am I supposed to do? I have no idea so I go into my living room and sit down; ready to fully ignore the door until I hear it open… Wait she has a key!


	3. Chapter 3

Well here is the next chapter. and well you know what i like you all so here is the third chapter. I think i may get the fourth out by the end of the weekend, depends on if i get many reviews. Hint hint!

Here is the disclaimer - Roses are red, violets are blue, i no own so you no sue! 

Chapter 3

Dinners with the Unhappy Couple.

As Yukari stormed into my house, I just sat there and stared, feeling like the happiness from my vision, at finally seeing Van, was breaking up and leaving me tired and depressed. I knew it was a vision but every time I had one I wished that maybe I would finally be with Van. That thought led me to Toma. His wife. Gods help me, I was jealous of her. She was pregnant with Van's baby and I wasn't… I was jealous that she got that close to Van and I was always kept at arms distance. My thoughts whirled around my brain in a dizzying sense making my world jump and spin sickening.

Now visions were nothing new, after being on Gaea they began to come to me again, different scenes on Gaea, as if my heart and mind were checking up on all my friends. But usually they came only in my sleep and so when this one came when I was awake, and with such intensity I was scared. Hell I am still scared. I hugged a pillow to my chest and bit my lip, closing my eyes against the added physical pain, feeling tears sting my eyes as sadness and depression ripped through my mind. I had seen him and watched him, not that they would know that I saw them. As all these thoughts whirled in my brain as I opened my eyes and my vision was filled with Yukari's face.

"Hitomi-chan! Oh Hitomi-chan…" Yukari's voice was soft and I could smell a little bit of sherry on her breath so that is why Amano didn't bother fighting with her, she was drunk and he didn't want to piss her off so he couldn't get his piece tonight… oops I meant peace.

"Yukari! Where did you get the key to my apartment?" My voice was strained but I managed to banish the tears from my eyes and stared her dead in the face.

"Hitomi-chan….Your mom gave me it so I could check up on you." Her voice was soft and her eyes looked injured, as if she was upset over something.

"I am nineteen years old; I can take care of myself. Thank you." I knew I was being cold to her but I get tired of being treated like a child who just can't be taught.

"I know you can and I wanted to know if you wanted to go to dinner with us tonight. I know I called and asked you about tomorrow night but then Amano told me that we had plans so I figured I would run over and ask you real quick since we only live a few minutes away… and since you never answer the phone." Her voice was slightly slurred and made me cringe as wave after wave of sherry came over my face. Why did she insist on trying to get me to act like the girl I was before I met Van and my entire world changed?

"Yukari… Did you drive here?" My voice was cautious as I moved away from her. I had seen her drunk once when we had gone to a party, soon after my "incident" and she seemed to think it was my fault Amano had stopped paying attention to her and was with me a lot since he was worried. But also he was asking me how to best ask Yukari out. It turns out that he never had any emotion other then little sister like for me and I guess I just mistook it as a child like fascination with an adult. You know like a little kid wants to marry their parent because they see that person as their knight in shining armor.

"No Hitomi-chan, I drove her over here. She insisted and you know how Yukari is when she wants something." Amano's voice came from behind a tower of boxes which he promptly moved so I could see him there. His face looked tired, or maybe I am just projecting that on everyone today… I smiled at him and then turned to Yukari.

"Well I am not dressed to be going out to eat…"I said in a soft voice hoping I could get out of it. I knew that is I could then I could sit around my house and wallow in the depression that had slowly begun to eat at me since I left the mental ward. When I was there I refused to let my depression get me and remained a happy-go-lucky person. But now that I am out I just let my mind go and it is beginning to implode. Yukari smiled and then moved over to me, her walk turning into a seductive wave that I knew was for Amano.

"I can help you get dressed. Come on Tomi-chan! We never go out anymore, it's like you're too good for us." Her voice turned mean and I just managed to duck under her fist as she swung at me. That punch put her at an off balance and I placed a hand on her back pushing her down just as Van had taught me once. When she hit the floor I scrambled farther away and stared at the two of them. Amano helped her stand then looked at me with angry eyes, like it was my fault that she attacked me. I flipped him the bird and then stood up and reached my full height.

"How dare you come into my house and then try and beat me up!" My voice was a lot angrier then I felt but that first rush of anger had made me entire body tingle. It had been a long time since I was angry but now that I was, I embraced it and ran with it. "How dare you accuse me of thinking I am better then you, when you're the one who told my mother something that was supposed to stay between us, then let my mother throw me into an asylum…. You were my friend Yukari and yet as soon as I got out you gleefully got the idea that you had to be my mother's watch dog! That is no friend, that is a spy and cheat and someone that doesn't deserve to be anywhere near me since friends like you always find ways to hurt me or someone I care about." I was screaming now feeling all the anger and the hate slip out my mouth in rude and angry words. When I was finished I felt my self visibly slump as if the anger had given me strength and I just didn't have that anymore.

"Hitomi..." Amano's words were soft yet seemed to cut through my hazy mind in an instant, "Why didn't you tell me at least that you felt this way… Why did you hold it in and let it fester. And in truth it wasn't Yukari that told your mother. It was me. I was tired of seeing you so happy about a dream you had. You lived so much in that dream that I was afraid you would never see the reality around you." His voice was soft and full of a feeling I refused to realize. He loved me and was only trying to help. Bull. He wanted me to drown in my pain, He wanted me to scream and rant and cry then to act like nothing had happened. Then I would be the girl he had always known…. Jerk. I stared him in the eye and smirked slightly.

"Get out now." My voice was soft but I was ready to scream if they didn't move. Luckily after about 10 seconds they began to move very slowly and I realized that I did have the power over someone, myself. As they hit the door, I smiled, and then loud enough for them to hear, I said, "Don't let it hit you on the way out." In response I got a slammed down and I smirked. "So much for dinner with the unhappy couple." I heard their car peel out so I sat back down and closed my eyes feeling the pain from seeing Van storm out since the anger and adrenaline was leaking away. "Van… I'm sorry… But I need to do this… There is no life without you… There is no nothing without you…" I stared at the wall for a moment then sighed and closed my eyes summoning the strength to do the final step.

When I was sure I had the strength I stood up and walked slowly to the bathroom. I looked around then noticed that a mirror was broken. I stared at it for what seemed like decades and then I realized that if I was truly going to do it then I would have to pick up and get it over with before I lost my nerve and didn't do it.

I sat there crouched on the floor I felt like I was divorced from my emotions. I slowly picked up all the small pieces of mirror, ignoring the jabbing pains as little slivers of glass poked me into the skin. I gathered the glass into a towel and when it was all cleaned up I looked them over with a sort of appraising view. The light shined on them from over my left shoulder making a rainbow of color shine above them slightly. A smile came to my lips as I watched the dancing lights. I know I am just stalling but come on; the Idea of death, of never having my Van with me anymore scared me. "But death without him is better then a life without him. At least in death I can forever dream of being with him." My voice sounded far away and dreamlike to my own ears as I grabbed a nicely shaped piece of broken glass and then holding it in both hands I stood up, leaving the bathroom and heading to my living room.

Now I was never a musical person but when I heard the song Untitled by Simple plan, it hit me like a ton of bricks. That was how I felt. Well as I walked into the living room I turned on their CD and began skipping to that track, since that was the only reason I bought it, making sure that it would just repeat that song then moved to the middle of the living room floor, sitting down and closing my eyes to listen to the music.

I open my eyes  
I try to see but I'm blinded  
By the white light  
I can't remember how  
I can't remember why  
I'm lying here tonight  
And I can't stand the pain  
And I can't make it go away  
No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me?

I've made my mistakes  
Got no where to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me?

I felt the pain in my chest like a heavy weight, crushing my chest. I closed my eyes for a moment and felt a faint tear on my cheek, but I wiped it off quickly and lifted the mirror piece and looked into it, staring deeply into my eyes like that would save me from what I was about to do. I looked at myself then lowered the shard of mirror and moved it over to my wrist, slightly pushing down, just feeling the first beginnings of pain.

Everybody's screaming  
I try to make a sound  
But no one hears me  
I'm slipping off the edge  
I'm hanging by a thread  
I wanna start this over again  
So I try to hold onto  
A time when nothing mattered  
And I can't explain what happened  
And I can't erase the things that I've done  
No I can't

How could this happen to me?  
I've made my mistakes  
Got no where to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me?

As I first pushed down I felt a screaming pain race down my arms and so I paused then pushed down as hard as I could hoping to get it over with soon before I lost my nerve. Then I looked down there was a jagged cut that opened up nearly to the bone. I watched the blood begin to seep out, and then spurt out, almost like sailors who has been told to bail out. I giggled softly at the mental comparison then bit my lip to avoid the thought of going and getting a towel to stanch the blood then getting to the hospital. That would mean I would be in a mental institute and I refuse to go to one of those anymore. The music begins to glide around me as the pain numbs and I feel the beginnings of a chill start at the base of my spine and racing up it. I looked down next to me and started slightly seeing the mirror piece on the floor, little spots of blood decorating it. I stared at it perversely thinking it the most beautiful thing because they made up the design of Van's face. Now I know I was probably imagining it, but to my blood starved brain it did look like him.

I've made my mistakes  
Got no where to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me?

As I lost more blood, the music began to sound light and fanciful instead of the heard rock I knew it to be. I said my head back against the couch because it was betting to heavy for my neck to support, the cool material of the couch making my flushed skin feel better. I felt lightheaded so I lay down on the floor and looked at the mirror piece, smiling slightly at the shiny quality it had gotten. I knew I was beginning to die but I just smiled to myself and let it come. I didn't fight it or anything, letting my eyes droop closed letting the unconsciousness that had been trying to take me over, finally finish its job.

"I love you Van." My lips felt heavy and unmanageable, while my voice sounded much like a whisper. As soon as they passed over my lips I felt my body go limp and I was gone, unconsciousness finally sweeping over me in a wave.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello again everyone! Thank you all so much for the reviews. I loved them and cherish every single one of them. So please continue to Read and Review and then i will write more. I promise i will try and have a 5th chapter out by Sun night.

Disclaimer: Roses are red. Violets are blue. I no own so you no sue! (Thanks Amber for the disclaimer)

Chapter 4

I floated through a warm darkness, the warmth soaking into my skin making the pale color almost seem to glow. I know I should be dead, and maybe this is death? Maybe this is purgatory? As I floated there my thoughts faded into a soft white noise that was faint in the back of my head. I laid there and then an image began to appear over her eyes. The face slowly became one of a young man with messy black hair that was boyishly short and had bangs that hung over his eyes obscuring his odd eyes. His eyes were wide and a little cynical, while the red-brown color looking jaded. His face was soft and young still, yet there was a hardness there that can only come from war. I reached out for the picture and felt my hand connect with a solid object. I touched his face lightly and felt tears slip down my cheeks.

"Van! VAN!" My voice cried out and I knew that he would never hear me. My voice slowly faded away until the echoes were even faint in my ears. I stared endlessly at the picture then I felt a small flame start in my lower stomach and seemed to grow slowly until my entire body was glowing with it. The intensity scared me as it fought to escape from my body, it screamed through my body and fought at my very skin until it made my entire body glow the same color as my pendant used to glow when I accessed my power. When I thought the pain was too much for me to bear, I closed my eyes brought the image of Van back to my mind's eye. And a small voice in my head said softly, "I wish I was with Van. I wish I was with Van." The small voice chanted it until I began to hear it with my ears. I listened and let the voice comfort me. I knew in my head that I would never see Van again since I was dead but in my heart I hoped I was wrong.

But soon after I first heard the voice I felt a painful jolt rock my body and pull a pained scream from my throat. As soon as the noise left me though I felt the darkness swallow up the sound and I was left again with the softly chanting voice. But minutes after the first jolt I felt the pain again. It felt like someone was trying to rip my body apart to the point that I would have let them only to stop the pain. Then I felt a sluggish thump in my chest and I realized that my heart had started beating, slowly but it was beginning to have a rhythm to it. Then the darkness began to fade and I felt the warmth of the light engulf me. I knew it was stupid, the whole "following the white light" but in truth I don't think I was ready to die yet. But I know that if I went back to my old life I would want to retract that statement. Soon I felt my soul touch my body again and then felt it when I moved a finger slightly.

So I was still alive huh? Lovely. Before long I realized my wrists hurt a lot and they were stiff as if bandaged. Took a deep breath and then opened my eyes slowly. The bright light that was in front of my eyes seemed dim and filtered but the weak light still caused a sharp pain in my eyes. I blinked for a moment, and then I realized that the light wasn't as painful as I first thought it was, so I kept my eyes open and I looked around the room. It was small with the bed I was laying in and a small window that had a reed shade over it. I tried to sit up but a faint hand held me down. I looked over and saw an old woman who was looked to be someone's grandmother. I opened my mouth to speak but my throat felt dry and scratchy. After several attempts to speak the woman only smiled and handed me a drink of water which I greedily accepted and swallowed without the conscious care of what it was. After the cup was drained and the slight taste of some herb touched the back of my throat, then the small paranoid voice began to creep up and whisper that the water had been poisoned and I would soon die yet again and go to hell because there was no way that I deserved heaven after killing all those people on Gaea. I watched the woman with a creeping sense of dread.

"Please don't hurt me." My voice sounded weak at first then grew stronger with each word.

"My child, If I wished you harm I would have done it while you slept. Now rest or His Majesty will be very upset with both of us." Her voice was kindly stern, and forced me to lay back and be quiet. As we sat in silence I closed my eyes, wishing to return to my dreams instead of facing a reality that was slowly coming together in my mind. The silence grew, thickening slowly until I thought either I or the old woman or even both of us had fallen asleep. Then I heard her begin to hum softly and the song began to come to my mind. It was the same song my grandmother used to sing to me as a child and the same one that I had heard while I was on Gaea. The song, even just the melody brought feelings to mind that I had thought I had learned to hide away.

"Please stop…. That is a song that I never want to hear again…." My voice broke slightly at the end and tears streamed down my cheeks, each one feeling like a new trail of lava burning over my cheeks. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the woman stand up so I sat up more determined to not have her any closer to me in case she wanted to hurt me.

"I'm sorry Child. Let me go get His Majesty and we will resolve this." The woman's voice was kind and jovial as she wiped tears from my cheeks and disappeared into the corridor that led out of the room. As I sat there, tears were streaming down my cheeks, but after a few moments though I felt my stomach churning uncomfortably, the nausea making my head light and jump and stutter. After only a few seconds though of trying to calm my stomach, I leaned over and vomited into a well placed bucket that reeked of river water and lye soap. My stomach kept ejecting everything it contained while tears streamed down my cheeks and I managed to whisper for forgiveness from anyone who would listen. I was unaware of all that things around me until I felt a faint touch on my forehead, a cooling rush of power along with a brush of wings that lightly played along my skin. When I felt the wings, my mind hazily showed me one vision I kept having before I knew Van had wings.

Soon my nausea cleared and I sat up, taking the towel handed to me, using it to wipe my mouth and face. The cooling rush of power dissipated slightly and became a soft static in the back of my mind. I lay back in the bed and closed my eyes praying that the nausea would not come back.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Lady Hitomi." A voice said softly as if the girl only said it to hear her own voice and to be seen as kind.

"I am no lady; I am only Kanzaki Hitomi, no more, no less." I opened my eyes, doing my best to hide my surprise when my eyes centered on Toma. She was even more beautiful then in my vision and also appeared more pregnant also. But I artfully hid m y surprise behind a mask of indifference while Toma only smiled politely and latched herself onto the man standing to her right. My eyes went with her movement, curious to see if she was really going to be hanging all over her husband like that and I saw Van. He was now taller then me by a few inches and had filled out more, making him look more like a man, but what surprised me the most was a small goatee that was trimmed and proper, but made him look about 10 years older then the last time I saw him. "Van… Is it…" My voice breathy as I tried to wake up from this dream.

"Wel- Welcome Home Hitomi." His voice was as unsteady as my own, but he stepped closer to me and enveloped me in a hug, artfully, getting free of Toma without looking rude. The hug was familiar and warm, relaxing all my muscles and making tears come to my eyes. I Bit my lip to stop from crying but then I felt a cold drop fall on my shoulder and I let loose my tears. We both cried for things we didn't realize and things we did until we were all cried out. Everyone stared at us in disbelief and when I saw Toma's face I had to try and swallow a laugh at how angry she appeared. But when Van pulled away from me I felt a faint tear want to edge down my cheek. I had just gotten him back and now I was going to loose him again.

"Van-" My word thoughts, though, were cut short by a rather loud and angry voice, "Don't they teach you any manners on the Mystic Moon? He is a king now and you should show him the respect he deserves." I looked over at Toma, since I knew it was her voice, wanting to move and lay her out for talking to me like that but Van placed a hand on my bandaged wrist and then whispered in my ear softly.

"Meet me by Escaflowne after sundown, if you feel up to it anyway. I will deal with Toma." His voice soft and his breath were warm over my skin making every inch of my skin crawl with happiness. I nodded slightly and lay back with a sigh of relief since my wrists were killing me. Van then turned to everyone else and smiled diplomatically. "Alright everyone, we must leave Lady Hitomi along to rest and heal. Merle I would like you to stay with her and fill her in on what she has missed. It has been a long couple of years. Toma, I wish I word with you, so please stay for a moment. Everyone else you may spend your day at your leisure." His voice was kind but also held that anger to it that made everyone believe he meant what he said. When all the noise had gone down, all that was left was the kind old woman from before, Merle, Van and Toma. I watched them all from my bed with a small frown of dissatisfaction until the old woman came over and took my wrist in her hand lightly.

"It is time to change the bandages, my dear child." She said in a soft voice as she began to unravel the wrappings. I watched for a few moments then felt Merle settle her self at the end of my bed, drew me back to the conversation on hand.

"Lady Toma, I wish to remind you that this marriage is not final unless my people accept that child you carry, if I can even say it is mine. Also I wish to remind you that you to no way interfere with how I let people talk to me. Hitomi has known me for far longer then you have and is a closer person to my heart that anyone other then Merle." At this Merle stuck out her chest and grinned. I smiled at her and moved how the old woman wished still listening to the conversation I had no part of.

"But Van-san, She is a foreigner, and I heard about her before. She is the cause for the destruction of Fanelia. Don't you remember that? Do you wish it to happen again? Having her here may destroy the country I have seen you work so hard to rebuild." Her voice was close to tears and desperate.

"How can I destroy a country when I don't have my pendent like before, or my tarot cards? I know I gave my necklace to Van, and my cards are lost in the mess of the life back on the Mystic Moon. I will never again destroy the lives of the people I love." My voice was softer then I meant it to be, but when she mentioned the entire killing that happened thanks to me it made me think about it, take it from the dark corner I had hidden the memories and look them over, and reliving each one.

"That still is no excuse?" Her voice was near screaming now and I saw the vein in Van's temple start to bulge.

"Lady Toma! Please know that I mean your marriage no harm, I only wish to live a full life among that people who had become closer then family to me. I will be moving out of the castle as soon as Van allows me too." I knew Van would never let me leave again, but I also knew it would placate her ego, which it did thankfully, and would cause her to walk away. When she was out of sight, Van turned and smiled at me.

"If you will excuse me Hitomi, I have a few things to take care of before sundown." He smiled slightly at me and then rushed out, as if embarrassed.

"I have never seen him move that fast before." Merle commented as I lay there with fresh bandages.

"Me either, I guess he hasn't changed much either." I said in a soft voice as if in awe of how silly he seemed.

"What do you mean?" Her voice was confused.

"I mean that obviously you have changed Merle. I mean you're taller then me by at least a few inches and then there is the slight idea that you filled out quite nicely."

"What happened to you?" Her voice was hesitant and I lowered my eyes feeling my shame color my face redder then a tomato then turn my neck red as well.

"I just got tired of living in a world were no one would accept that I didn't belong there. I belong here on Gaea. And I intend to spend the rest of my days here." My voice was final and I looked up with a determination in my eyes that made Merle shudder.

"I am supposed to catch you up on things aren't I?" Merle asked with a soft voice. I nodded and then sat back as she began to tell me everything that happened. I really had missed a lot since I left, but soon my mind began to wander to what would happen that night when I met Van.

Please read and review. This chapter is alittle longerand hopefully they will be getting longer the longer i write. Sorry i didn't respond to all your reviews but i have been easier.


	5. Chapter 5

KriegHerr- I already thought of that but thanks you. It makes my skin crawl as well.

Me: Well here we are again, in the 5th chapter. Thanks to everyone that has reviewed. This is the most read story I have ever had and the most reviews I have ever gotten. I bow to all of you in homage. Next thing on the agenda, looks at paper I hope to tell you all that Toma… Will be here for at least another chapter. Now I have no idea what to do with her so if you have suggestions, feel free to say them in reviews or email me since I will be keeping tabs on it. Now I have one suggestion that Toma was having an affair… Um that could get her killed so……… it up to ya'll.

What to do with Toma?

Killed? 1 vote

Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I no own so you no sue.

As I sat in the clearing, trying to catch my breath, I felt like Escaflowne was standing over me, protecting me with its body like it had so often in the past. I looked up at him and then settled close to his feet, the chill from the air slowly working its way under the long gown I had on. It was of a thick material but I was used to winter in Tokyo, and this was just plain cold. As I sat there and thought about what had happened to me, I felt a presence behind me and when I turned I saw Van's face, half hidden in shadow. I screamed, naturally, and fell away from him, the cold grass making me push myself into a standing position.

"Did I scare you?" He asked with amusement riding his face, a smile just under all that adulthood.

"No, not at all Van? Of course you did. You should know better then to scare a poor woman like that! I just returned from death and you are trying to return me to there?" My voice was high pitched and made my ears hurt. I knew this was a dream, or at least my version of my heaven, so I was going to treat it as such. Van stared at me in disbelief and then stepped closer to me.

"Hitomi-" Before he was able to say more I felt a overwhelming urge to stop him from saying what he might say so I launched myself at him and claimed his lips with mine. It was short and sweet, his lips warm against mine. When I pulled back though, I felt like I was going to cry, long and hard. He was warm and real… and that meant that I wasn't dreaming. He really was here with me and I was really on Gaea.

"Van… I'm home Van, I'm really here…" My voice sounded soft with wonder and I stepped away from him. But before I could get far I felt my knees start to give out and realized that I was going to fall. "Van!" I yelled softly before he was there and holding me. "Th-thank you Van…" My voice was soft and the look in his eyes made me smile.

"Hitomi… Why did you leave me?" His voice was soft and he held me close to his body as if afraid to let me go for fear of me leaving again.

"You were to be king and I refuse to let you worry more over me then your people. They mean the world to you." My voice was soft and I felt a faint whisper of the old grief, from the last time I had been here, slowly unfurl within me until it made my breath catch in my throat.

"But Hitomi, please…I have been miserable without you and I will never forgive myself for letting you leave the first time. I won't let you leave me again." His voice was soft and hard with determination. It made me look up at him; his eyes were large and dark in the rising shadows. I was speechless as I stared at him, his eyes seeming to swallow me whole.

"Van… I won't leave ever again. Please… don't worry. You are going to have family soon and I am only an old friend. Why did you want to meet me out here anyway?" My voice was soft and I knew I was denying my feeling for him but I would never want to ruin his family. Van closed his eyes and laid a head against mine, his forehead warm against mine.

"Hitomi, I never told you this… But I love you… I have always loved you from the day that I met you." The seriousness in his voice made wonder if he hadn't been dying to say that for years now. I mean I knew that I had loved him to begin with but what if I was wrong to think that it was unrequited love? An image flashed before my eyes of when I had kissed Allen, thanks to Folken and his stupid machine, and the look of sheer painful anguish that took forever to fade from his eyes. I hugged him closer and then closed my eyes and wrapped the sheer scent of roses and angel wings around me, promising silently to the world, that I would die before I was ever sent back to the mystic moon. AS we stood there embraced I closed my eyes and felt the light from the moon and the mystic moon shine down on us like a spot light, any other time I would have felt like it was a spot light to make me feel guilty for being this intimate with a man that was no longer mine… But now it felt like the gods were welcoming me home by giving my Van back. "Hitomi… I have something that belongs to you; you may want it back now." Van had a contented smile on his face and I almost wept to see it there. When I left the first time I saw how upset he was, and also how hard he was trying not to let his feeling stop me. But now he was open to me, he wasn't bothering to hide his war torn soul that even now was still dealing with seeing death all around him.

"And what is that Van?" I asked and stepped back a little hoping that I could stand without his needing to help. But as my balance settled out I was able to stand with only a hand in his.

"This." He pulled my pendent out of his shirt and then also pulled my duffel bag out from behind the shadows. Just having the pendent in my hands sent a thrill through my skin. It was mine again and I would never let what happened to me happen again. When he dropped the duffel bag at my feet I blinked then smiled and opened it seeing all the things that I had packed when I was planning on leaving.

"I wondered what happened to this bag. I mean I got back to Earth and it was no where to be seen." My voice pull of wonder as I gingerly looked through it.

"Well when the light was all gone, I began to sit and talk with Escaflowne, hoping that would help to clear my head before my coronation. After a few moments though I saw something come falling from the sky and there was your bag. It just fell at my feet, chased by the sound of my mother's voice saying, "For you my son, as a promise that this is not the end." I was actually extremely surprised but I hugged the bag anyway. At first I hid it in Escaflowne, but when I became king I took with me to the rebuilt castle and hid it in my room." He paused for a moment and then took the pendent from me, placing it around my neck, his fingers lingering on the skin there before continuing, sitting himself down on the damp grass as if he didn't care about his fancy clothes. I never noticed it before, but even in causal wear they made him dress like he was about to go to a party. I would have to change that. After a few moments I sat down too and he continued. "Merle found it soon after that, then she and I began to talk and we were trying to find some way to go get you… Then you dropped right into my conference room, right in the middle of a chivalry conference."

When I heard this I broke down laughing and felt like I would never stop. Soon Van joined in and we both lay in the damp grass and laughed. I laughed because I just dropping in and bleeding every where was fun but I was also relieved. I thought I would never laugh never joke, never be happy ever again and here I am. I am laughing with Van and actually a little surprised that they were planning to come and get me from the Mystic moon. Soon my laughs came in broken bits, since I was breathless from laughing to hard. Tears rolled down my cheeks and still I laughed. But surprisingly enough, Van laid there in the grass with a small smile on his face as if he was just content to hear me laugh.

"Van… Why are you married to Toma?" I prayed that his answer was something I could deal with but in truth I knew that it would still break my heart to hear anything about the woman who seemed to hate me.

Van looked over at me then lifted his hand lazily and pushed pieces of hair from my forehead, his hand coming to rest on the ground, just an inch from my shoulder. "I married her with a stipulation. When I was told she was betrothed from when I was a child I felt I should have to rebel against it. But since Fanelia was still being rebuilt, Toma's family was willing to have her here and we would marry in the spring. Well spring came and before we got married we had a pact made. This marriage is null and void if my people will not accept this child. Meaning that if this child is not of Draconian blood then he will not inherit the throne. The thing is that I know Toma does not love me, anymore then I love her. But she wants more then anything to be a queen since she is the youngest sister of a big family and if she doesn't become queen she will be forever the baby." The scorn in his voice was strong but I could also see why she hated me so much. It was obvious that Van and I were close… But was it enough for her to want me dead?

"Van, do you think she would do anything for it?" I asked in a shaky voice.

"No I don't think she won't. I mean I know her and she is a wimp. Everyone in this castle is loyal to me since everyone is personally passed by me. Speaking of which, your rooms have been made up, Merle will be waiting on you since I know you wouldn't want strangers around you." His voice was soft and sleepy, and for a moment I wished that I would be the one laying next to him in his bed that night.

"Okay Van. But I think I should be getting back since it is going to be a long day tomorrow and my bandages need to be redone." I looked down to see blood seeping through them, the red color a vague fascination of mine that I just sat and poked at until Van grabbed my hand and pulled my attention to his face.

"Please don't. Celena does that some times. She strokes her cheek and looks just like Dilandau, but with beautiful golden hair instead of the cold silver hair. Allen is always with her and still she has moments where she acts like him." His voice was serious, his eyes worried and scared.

"I'm not Dilandau, I never will be. Let's head back okay?" I brightened up my voice so he would smile, which he did, and then he stood. I followed suit and then realized that it was a long trek back to the castle. Van must have realized that too since he turned his back to me and got on one knee.

"Get on Hitomi and I will carry you back. I saw how exhausted you were when you first arrived and I am young still. I can carry you." He smiled and grabbed my duffel bag putting it across his chest before I was able to get on. I clung to his back and buried my face into his shoulder in mock fear. He chuckled, the laugh rumbling loudly through out his chest, making my own rumble in response.

As we slowly made it back to the castle I felt a faint tendril of hope snake from my belly. Maybe this time I wouldn't have to worry about which one I would save. I would save those that meant the most to me. We managed to sneak past guards and when I finally reached my room I climbed off his back and took my bag back.

"Thank you Van. It is good to be home." My voice was small and I was surprised when he enveloped me in a hug.

"You're welcome Hitomi. I am glad that you returned. I would have waited forever." His voice was hot on my skin as he spoke those soft words, but soon I smiled and hugged him back before disappearing into my room and into the comforting darkness. I leaned on the door in the darkness and felt a faint sigh slip from my lips.

"Van… Merle… Allen… Millerna… You all are here with me now and I promise that I will never leave you again. I promise that tonight will be the first of many nights in Gaea." My voice was small and sounded like it was going to echo in the large room. When my voice slowly quieted I heard a door open, a slice of lamp light falling over the floor before a floating lamp walked through the room. The oval of light fell over me and Merle's face was revealed and she looked angry.

"Do you know it's well past time to have your bandages changed!" She growled loudly, worry placed over her face, her eyes scared. "Look you're already bleeding all over the place." When she said this I looked down and saw that my shirt had blood on it and I knew that if Van looked he would have blood on his fancy shirt. Merle watched me for a moment then grabbed me and dragged me by my upper arm into her small room that was connected to mine through a door way. A cheerful fire glowed in the grate and merle forced me to sit, the heat slowly edging into my skin and made me extremely tired. "This will only take a moment then I want you to sleep okay?" Her voice was soft and kind, but her eyes were also angry or annoyed.

"Thank you Merle. You didn't have to do this for me. But you did thanks."

"I didn't do this for you Hitomi, I did this for my Lord Van." But the smile on her face made me smile as well and I closed my eyes promising myself that I would only sleep for a few moments. As I slipped off to sleep the feeling of her bandaging my arms slowly faded until it was no more and I floated in unconsciousness, smiling to myself.

Well that's the end for that Chapter. Now when you all review if I could get some ideas about what to do with the evil Toma… I would be grateful.

Toma: I am not evil you little hussy.

Me: My readers think you are.

Toma: Well they are stupid peasants and I care not for them.

Well you heard it people… How what do I do with that! Please email me or review and give me some ideas.


	6. Chapter 6

Hello Again my lovely readers. I love you all. Anyway. The poll about Toma.

Death – 2

Affair and banishment – 4

Kidnapped- 1

In Love with a peasant before she came to Fanelia-1

There ya go. I think everyone is going for Affair and banishment… But death sounds good and I think that I have a few readers that would want to kill me if I decided to just banish her. So we will see and if /or when she does die… Her memory will live on in infamy.

Ps. Thank you Gemini Wings, pyromaniac-schizophrenic, Storm-Maker, mysisterisasquijum, Pure hope, and lastly but not lastly KriegHerr . You all helped with the poll. And yes the poll is still up for those who care to tell me more about who they think she should die.

Chapter 6

When morning came, I woke up slowly. I knew the reason I didn't get up immediately was because I was waiting for the normal depression to descend on once again like a flock of angry birds, and for last night to be a dream.

But finally I forced myself to open my eyes and saw a bird sitting on a ledge. It turned its head on its side as if questioning while I was still in bed while it was looking for food. I only smiled at it and then tried to move only to realize there was a living blanket lying over my hips.

I looked down to see Merle and then realized that I was home and so I lay back down and closed my eyes content to drift in that half sleep half wakefulness that was like a second home to me.

But alas, as soon as I was truly comfortable then someone came barging into my room and by the rustle of skirts I was betting it was some noble lady here to give me problems about sleeping in the servant's quarters.

I hate being just stood over me while I sleep so I opened my eyes and managed to sit up before having to rearrange Merle so she would quit the adorable mewling she was doing in her sleep. In fronts of my though, I was Toma. Her light blue gown showed how pale and ethereal she normally looked while also exaggerating her extremely pregnant self. I stared at her, my face polite while I was quietly fuming.

If Van knew that she was in here without knocking and well before any normal person would be awake, I am sure he would be upset. But it's not like I would tell him. The fighting of nobles is too much to be placed on his shoulders, and I know he hates to play daddy to all these adults.

"And how may I help you, Milady Toma?" My voice was odd even to my ears. I knew adding in her title would make her upset; only because I was reminding her she had a title while I didn't.

"What are you doing in here? I mean, Lady Hitomi, you should be in your bed, not sprawled out in the servant's quarters. It is unbecoming for a lady." Her voice was deceptively polite as if she was only trying to help.

"I'm sorry Milady, but while my bandages were being changed I seemed to have fallen quite asleep. Yesterday was a very tiring today and I have a feeling tonight will not be much better." _Especially when dealing with you_. I thought unkindly as I stood carefully making sure Merle stayed on her bed, then moved out of the room and into mine.

The walls seemed to have shrunk from last night so the cavernous room turned into a cozy room. I moved behind a paper wall that was obviously so I could get dressed in private. When I was back there, I saw a dressmaker's dummy and it had a beautiful gown placed on it. On the shoulder there was a piece of paper pinned to it so I took it off and read in an elegant script.

Hitomi-

The seamstresses hate me for this, since I had them working on it all night. If I am right your still asleep even though I do not see you in your bed. I know it was wrong of me to just sneak into your room but I wished it to be a surprise. Please wear it, since I know the color will suit you to a tee. By the way Hitomi… Welcome Home.

Allen Schezar

Knight of Asturia

Ps. Celena says hello as well, but she writing is still a little shaky. We look forward to seeing you.

When I finished the note I felt a small smile on my face. It was just like him to do something nice and do it in such away that I couldn't get angry at him about it. But before I could hide the note, Toma came behind the paper wall and saw it, snatching it away. Quickly her eyes glanced over the paper and then she looked at me with a glint in her eyes that made me so sick I was afraid to ask.

"So not only are you after my Van, you're after Sir Allen as well…. Hmmm well I will have to tell Van and he can send you to Allen in a coffin. Like you deserve you little man stealer." Her voice was so full of venom I expected to see it dribbling down her chin, but she turned and walked out quickly her sharp heels making loud clacking sounds until Merle finally woke up loudly complaining that she was away and you could stop torturing the floors. I laughed softly and turned to her.

"You okay Merle? I mean I wouldn't want your sleep interrupted But I need to get into this dress, and get to breakfast I am starving." I heard Merle walk up behind me by the bell that she had taken to wearing around her right ankle; it's soft twinkling not the least bit annoying.

"All you had to do was ask Hitomi." Her voice was gruff with tiredness and annoyance since I think she figured I was the one to piss off Toma, but she waked her up.

"Merle… Do you think that I really belong here?" My voice sounded weak and scared to my own ears and yet I still asked and when she pulled the ties on the bodice tight enough to make me gasp, I heard her take a deep breathe.

"To have you here… I have seen Van happy. When it was just he and I he was kind and nice to me like always, but with you around he is happier and brighter. I think that it can't be only him and me. He needs someone he doesn't see as a sister to be his companion when I can't." Her voice held a hint of tears but also of an emotion I couldn't name. I knew she and Van meant the world to each other but I tried to die so I couldn't be without Van, Did that make me the bad person?

When she finished her tying and fastening and fussing I looked into the mirror and gasped softly, a hand coming to my neck where the pendant had been doubled so it was high up next to my collar bone.

The green of the gown was soft enough that my skin glowed. It still had a slight tan from all the time I had spent outside but not so much as it would fight the soft color. The neckline was square, with a little tie in the front so it stayed that way; the short sleeves barely covered my shoulders but enough so it accented my shoulders and long slim arms. The gown soon went into a bodice type of green material that was tight showing my slight figure and forcing my chest to rest on a kind of shelf, which the neckline also accented. The bodice type of thing ended just before my hips and went straight down in a skirt, the sheer green on the top layer softening to dark green of the under skirt. I almost laughed when I saw myself fin the mirror because I didn't look like me. I looked like a princess.

Merle stood off the side a little and grinned impishly. "Allen must still hold a flame to you if he will willing to spend that much on a dress without thought. Celena is still not well and yet he spends money on you…" Her voice trailed off and she smiled as if she knew the secret of the world and would refuse to tell you it until you paid the price.

"I am sure you are wrong Merle. It was just a coming home present. Which after I wear it like he asked I will pack it away and give it back to him saying the thought was nice but I can't except a gift from him since I have gotten him nothing." I said in a self important way as I brushed out my hair and with a little gel that was in a duffel bag I styled it so that it was light and airy but would refuse to frizz.

"You can't do that Hitomi. You coming back have made a lot of people more happy then simple earthy trinkets would ever." Merle said as she hugged me from behind as I doubled up my necklace to that the trinket sat just under my collar bone, the delicate chain near invisible on my skin.

"Well Toma seems to think that I am evil and at one time you told me to stay away from Van and now you are allowing it? I am very confused as to what I am supposed to do." My voice wounded deflated, tired.

"Toma also has been vying for the throne since she was old enough to realize that with Van she would be a queen." Merle said unkindly, but in truth I agreed with her. She was shrewd and cruel; the kind of Fanelia that would be around when she was king was one of poverty in the cities while she had huge parties in the palace. Sounds like another queen we know of doesn't it? (A/N: and for those of you are rusty on their history, Marie Antoinette was known to have large parties and spend large amounts of money while her people starved and had no money due to her parties.).

I stayed silent and just stared at my reflection in the mirror. "Time to leave Hitomi. You need to go and meet up with Van and Allen." I looked back at her with a smile and then placed a few bits of make up on then rushed out, my silk slippers whispering across the floor.

When I finally reached the throne room I felt like my chest was being squeezed. "At least now I know that running is not my thing anymore." I whispered to myself as I checked my appearance in a wrought iron mirror. As I concentrated on my own appearance, trying to erase the fatigue from my eyes and make sure that my make up didn't run, I didn't notice that another figure appeared behind me.

"You look as beautiful as ever." The rumbling voice from behind me said, making me nearly jump out of my skin. I turned around and came face to face with Allen.

"Allen-san…" my voice was quiet for some reason as if I couldn't make the volume jump to my normal tone.

"I see you wore the dress. It's beautiful." He took my hand and spun me out away from his body, his eyes concentrated on the way the dress moved. I heard it whisper across the floor and then smiled softly letting go of the light grip on his hand, and standing on my own as the dress settled around my feet.

"I thank you for the gift but really am I afraid to except it since I have nothing to give to you in return." My voice was soft; the laughter I was trying to hold made flavoring my voice.

"The only gift I would ever except for this dress, is to see you in it and happy. It has been to long Hitomi. Too long." He smiled at me and opened his arms, so I rushed into his arms and hugged him tightly, doing my best not to get any make up on his nice dress clothes.

"Did you hear about Van and Toma?" He looked at me with worried eyes, eyes that reminded me so much of Amano, which my heart ache.

"I heard that they are married… and that I have lost Van forever." My voice was wistful and I stepped back so I was out of his arms knowing that if comfort was that close I would start crying for what seemed like the hundredth time since I came here.

"Well they are married with a condition. If Toma can birth a baby that is Van's, then she will be queen. But IF the child is not his then he will dismiss her from the country and she will never return under pain of imprisonment." Allen said his voice serious.

_Well that was serious_ I thought to myself and smirked. "So, I haven't lost Van… But What if the baby is Van's and the people don't want an Asturian Queen?"

"Then she will still loose the kingdom, but Van will settle her into Asturia with a comfortable house, and she will not disgrace her family by having to support her. Though Van will only support her if his chosen queen will agree. You know, he doesn't want any rift between him and his queen." He looked around the room as he spoke his voice quiet and made it look as if they were talking about the weather.

"Ah I see. Well Allen, where is Celena? I would never think she would leave your side." I spoke softly and I wanted to giggle at the blush that spread across his cheeks as he looked behind me. I followed his gaze and saw Celena surrounded by a crowd of suitors. So the blush was not one of embarrassment, but of anger.

With a smile I walked over to them and smiled sweetly. "I am going to take my friend now. Her brother is very worried over her." Each one stared at me like they had never seen me before, which they hadn't, but it still stunned me for a moment, then I rushed Celena away.

After reaching her brother, I left them and headed head long into the crowds of people. About half way through the crowd though someone grabbed me, but they grabbed my wrist so I swung around tears starting from the pain that lanced up my arms. When I was Chid I was glad I had placed opera gloves on that went up to my upper arm.

"Chid-sama, it's a pleasure to see you." I said softly and kneeled to be at his height. He was about chest height now, and obviously had grown. His face was still soft, but had gained enough age that he didn't look like a baby any more.

"Hitomi… Welcome home…" He mumbled when he spoke and avoided my eyes, so I held a hand out and smiled.

"How 'bout we go out on the terrace, and catch up." Even though my voice was jovial I could feel the panic start to edge up my throat.

Chid must have heard it because he looked up at me and smiled like he used to, and nodded, walking to the terrace with me. Still holding my hand of course. When we got there we walked over to a pair of chairs around a table, each iron table and chair painted a cheerful white.

"Hitomi, when did you get back to Gaea?" His voice cracked a few times but made me smile. He was growing up and I missed it. Chid had always been someone I could look up to even though he was only a child.

"I kind of dropped in last night or the night before." I said a faint blush of embarrassment burn over my cheeks. Chid looked at me with a fascination that, when I was here before I seemed to have missed. It didn't help that all I cared about was sorting my feelings between Allen and Van. We both sat there, in the blazing sun and relaxed, not really needing to talk since we understood each other better then anyone else.

As I sat there and soaked up sun, I heard Chid shift a little so I opened one eye and looked over at him slightly, a small smile on my face.

"Hitomi… Now that I am a Duke, and all of Fred is rebuilt to its former glory… I was hoping that you would be willing to become my wife. I know that now you are a resident of Fanelia, and most likely will have to ask Van-sama… but I was just wondering…" His voice trailed off and all I could do was smile slightly to myself. I would bet my life people where pushing him to get married and the first person he could think of was the I. Well since I had sat down and actually listened when he had a problem, I guess I was a safe choice.

"Chid-sama… You may want to go with someone your own age. Now I thank you for the offer, but I have my eyes on someone else, and I think that I will see how that goes." I tried to keep my voice light and cheerful, but when I saw the disappointment in his eyes I knew that I didn't try hard enough. This was going to a long day I could tell that from now.

"That's okay Hitomi." He said, with a huge fake smile plastered to his face. "I should get back to the party before my guards come looking for me." And with that he wandered off and I sighed softly. Closing my eyes I tried to soak up more sun and forget that I would probably be hearing it from Toma for scaring off someone who was important to the kingdom, not that she knew him for that long.


	7. Chapter 7

To all my readers: 

I am sorry to all of you that have been loyal readers, but i am graduating in less then a week and so finals are kicking my butt. I only ask for a short reprieve from writing. I know you all have been waiting forever for my next chapter and i will get it out as soon as i can, But until then i only ask for patience. Once Graduation is over and i have some free time then i will update. I promise at least two chapters if not three since you have had to wait for so long. Thank you for all the reviews and i promise each reviewer that the wait will be worth it!

Trisana Tenebrae


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